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It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it!
Styling is about making deliberate choices about the way that you dance, and enhancing the basic elements with contrasting movements and shapes. Note that, if you want to add style by deliberately moving one part of your body, then any additional inadvertent movement will reduce that contrast and the impact of the styling will be lost, since an onlooker may be distracted resolving several (conflicting) movements and may be unable to determine which of the movements was intentional. Hence, styling requires technical ability, plus confidence in dancing and experimenting with basic movements, together with the ability to find “styling opportunities”. Leaders and followers can apply their own individual styling, although obviously their styling shouldn't interfere with each other's dancing, and ideally each partner's styling should complement the other's styling and fit the music.
Graceful styling: pointing toes and extending arms. Some styling issues can be personal to an individual dancer.
However, leading in particular can help styling in as much as clear, early leads will give more time to layer style on to the basic movement.
Compare how “Blue moon” (Nat King Cole, Fats Domino) as opposed to say “Sing, sing, sing (with a swing)” (Benny Goodman) might be danced.
Can't lead style, but can inhibit or smother it.
Style is the presentation of the moves, rather than the content of the moves. Style is the way that you can stamp your personality on the dance — the same move can look completely different depending on the feeling and style used when dancing it. Body size and shape can influence your style of dancing, e.g. can play up your height, or lack of it. Style is the sum of all the non-technical aspects of dancing, and is used to sum up the emotional responses imparted by the leader and follower to each other, their surroundings, and especially the type or style of the music. For example, the style for dancing to a slow blues number may be completely dissimilar to that used to dance for a high-energy Rock'n'Roll tune. The precision in the steps may be completely different, the precise part of the beat that each step concludes may also vary from being behind the beat to moving precisely onto each beat.
How you dance the moves: graceful, angular, fast, or relaxed (laid-back). How you perform the moves you dance: comically (humorous) etc., or smoldering and intense. For example, the intensity of “close” moves can be completely deflated with well-timed grin, wink or other slight clowning (blowing a raspberry, asking for a “Clown kiss”). Mime aspects.
One important styling technique is to watch your partner (and their movements and styling) and adjust your dancing accordingly. Ideally, there will be a sense of a “partnership” formed by symmetric or smoothly continuous movements, arm-lines, leg-lines, eye-lines, etc. between both partners. Similarly, a notion of “togetherness” may be formed by starting and finishing movements simultaneously — and from both partners making similar (sized) movements, leans, etc.
Take long steps. Think graceful, elegant — stand tall and straight — with slower music there's more time to see the lines formed by your arms, legs and body. When thinking about lines, think about the lines and space that your body occupies; and also think about the gaps and holes that your body makes — and the lines you make with your partner.
Music often has a QQSQQS form, at least in parts. The musical accents may also be on musical beats 2 and 4, rather than “normal” beats 1 and 3 — even if beats are equal (QQQQ).
Try playing with the dynamics of the dance and the timing of individual steps — try stretching the timing of the travelling parts of moves to make them look more elegant, and then compressing the timing for spins, or turns, to make them look snappier — and to get a better contrast between the different motions. For example, stretch the walking part of a Travelling Return to fractionally longer than the strict time for a single step, and then “snap” the turning part round in the shorter fractionally less-time remaining in the second step.
Note gravity can't be “slowed” — it's a constant — so the “air-time” of a hop or (unsupported) jump can't be varied (unless you jump higher71). The only elements of a hop, or jump that can vary the dynamics and timing are the take-off and landing phases72
Lessons.
Workshops.
Ask your partner.
Dance as much as possible, and with as many different partners as possible.
Watch other dancers.
Private lessons.
Overtrain.
Ask your partners for feedback — especially if they have any tips they can offer you.
Go to an all-day, or weekend event?
Practise
More than one teacher.
Remove extra linking moves, e.g. Returns.
New venues will offer new challenges; at the very least there may be different partners to dance with, and different music to dance to. Hopefully, different teachers may offer new insights and different moves.
Dance to slow music — any faults in timing will be magnified. Additionally, your balance, and your balance with your partner becomes more important — as positions will be held for longer periods.
Private lessons may help.
If you want to look smooth / elegant — need to keep body lines smooth / elegant — keep toes pointed down or on the floor. Don't keep your heel on ground unless the foot is flat, etc.
Don't have to lift the knee much — or lift the foot high off the ground to step forwards. Feet can glide rather than stomp across the floor. Need to keep legs relaxed with some very slight flex, otherwise you will be more likely to bounce as you move.
Need to be well-balanced for slower music — wobbling on one foot, e.g. when spinning, won't make you look smooth.
Possibly more romantic? Emphasize the music (swooping passages, etc.).
Level head.
Don't have to step every beat.
Keep feet close to the floor.
Keep the handhold quiet.
Don't take bouncy steps.
As in all disciplines, “cross-training” can be useful.
Try a ballroom (jive) class, maybe some swing / Lindy Hop, 1950's Rock'n'Roll, or West Coast Swing — or pick out a completely different style, e.g. salsa or tap. New techniques and styles will help broaden your lead / follow, syncopation, musical interpretation, etc. providing that you don't get confused.
Even ideas from country dancing, e.g. “swinging” your partner, e.g. in a side-by-side (Sway) position, or Basket where the leader can drive the rotation by using his body.
Non-dancing hobbies can help cross-training:
Modern Jive like most dances doesn't necessarily have a large cardiovascular component, so running makes a great complementary exercise. Running can help build up lung capacity, aerobic capacity, endurance, and reduce “recovery” times after strenuous dances. Impact from running tends to strengthen leg bones, and running on uneven surfaces will provide some benefit to core stability, etc. Running is a great way to burn calories, and can be used as part of an overall weight loss programme — reducing your weight may also help your dancing.
Increasing your flexibility will help your dancing; if you think that flexibility and stretching is “cissy”, then consider [Marine Corps Daily Sixteen].
Pilates.
Juggling can improve hand-to-eye coordination, and can help you to see the gaps in moves (“bullet time”). Juggling can help over the shoulder hand changes (especially for leaders swapping hands by throwing the follower's hand over their sweaty shoulder and catching the follower's hand behind their back).
Visualise your overall posture, and arm and leg lines. For example, try not to let your arms drop limply at your sides — keep unheld arms available at waist height.
Staying in the same place doesn't mean that you have to stand motionless — try walking in time, at least there will be some hip movement.
Especially if both partners' are in-line. It's often good style to emphasize the in-line position (or others) using eye-contact.

It'll relax your partner, and make it easier to lead / follow as have extra eye-contact / facial expressions, to act as a guide.
Keep your free (unheld) hands “up”, so that your hands are always at, or above waist level. However, keep your arms slightly below shoulder level and keep your elbows slightly in front of your body. Some teachers suggest that this slight drop of the arms can be thought of as keeping enough pressure to press a ball against your upper chest — dropping the arm to the side, or lifting it to (or above) shoulder level, would cause the ball to be dropped.
When styling arms (close to your partner, or indeed other dancers) then ensure that you do not lift your arm by lifting your elbow — since this causes your elbow to travel in an arc with a radius that is the length of your upper arm, which means that you will take a large amount of space to perform the movement. In particular, if your arm is (hanging) at your side then lifting your elbow will effectively make you “wider” which may be problematic if you are close to your partner — especially if you are spinning close to them.
It is possible to raise your hand without taking the elbow away from your body as follows:
Arrange your hand and arm so that your elbow points at the ground and the back of your hand brushes your face (with the thumb pointing forwards). At this point your forearm should be vertical — and kept close to your body — this makes it easier to move the spare arm so that it doesn't take the elbow away from the body as the hand is raised into the air.
For added style the hand can twist so that the palm rotates from facing away from the body, to then face the body, and finishes in a position facing away from the body (this will be a 360o clockwise rotation for a right hand, or a 360o anticlockwise rotation for a left hand).
If you have long hair in a loose hairdo, then the styled hand can be drawn through your hair, ruffling it in to a state of artful dishevelment as your hand travels vertically upwards.
When both your arms are raised, then try to style them — make a definite “shape”, e.g. keeping arms symmetric and crossing them at your wrists, or keeping the palms or backs of your hands together. Try not to look surprised if a leader “throws” your hands up, and avoid leaving them as if your are dangling precariously from a ledge or are trying to surrender.
When styling hands make them a definite shape, ideas include: “holding an egg”, making a loose “V”, forming a “C” shape.
To make the hand look daintier (smaller) keep the fingers together and depress the second (middle) finger, so that the overlap fingers to form a three-dimensional “V”.
Keep your fingers together when holding your partner — otherwise it can appear that you are trying to grope your partner.
Style your free arm — options include:
Taking your free arm vertically.
Caressing yourself; combing your hair, framing your head or face, or tracing your “contours”.
Caressing your partner!
Consider how your hands and whether they face towards or away from you, etc., and how your fingers are arranged.
71As gravity can't be slowed, jugglers who need more time (with more objects) will throw relatively higher.
72In juggling, this is the “dwell-time” an object spends in the hand, i.e. between a catch and a throw.
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